


Loving enough to forgive

by Broken_arrow32



Category: Batman - Fandom, Batman DC Comics, DC - Fandom, DC Comics
Genre: AU, Alternate Reality, Angst, Batfamily, Batman - Freeform, Batman AU, DC comics - Freeform, Jason Todd/Dick Grayson - Freeform, Jaydick angst, M/M, Trans!Jason Todd, batfam, batfam au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27074164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_arrow32/pseuds/Broken_arrow32
Summary: so i decided to create an alternate reality with a Transgender (F-M) Jason Todd were Jason and Dick met when they were just little years old when Dick was on patrol one day and just never told Bruce Jason existed, and Bruce didn't meet Jason until the tire thing, and then Jason moved in with them, having the manor as a safe place when things got rough at home. and when Jason's parents did die, Bruce didn't want to overstep Jason's boundaries and held off on asking if he wanted to be adopted, and never got the chance to ask before Dick and Jase started dating, so he just never ended up asking cause ward or not, Jason was still part of the family, regardless of wether or not it was through his love for Dick, and that was enough for Bruce.---Featuring a Trans!Jason Todd;the infamous Red Hood is found soaked, blacked out, and bleeding in the rain and Nightwing stumbles across him. little does Dick Grayson know that Jason Todd is slowly crumbling under the guilt of everything he's done as the crime boss Red Hood. Will Dick be able to hold Jason together? or will Jason's guilt drive an even deeper wedge between him and the one he loves, crushing him from the inside out?
Relationships: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, JayDick - Relationship
Kudos: 13





	Loving enough to forgive

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! if you are uncomfortable with Jaydick or ships like that, i'd suggest you just don't read this story. if you choose to read anyway, please keep in mind this is strictly an AU where Dick and Jason were never brothers, just really close friends to lovers. this is an AU were Jason and Dick met when they were just little years old when Dick was on patrol one day and just never told Bruce Jason existed, and Bruce didn't meet Jason until the tire thing, and then Jason moved in with them, having the manor as a safe place when things got rough at home. and when Jason's parents did die, Bruce didn't want to overstep Jason's boundaries and held off on asking if he wanted to be adopted, and never got the chance to ask before Dick and Jase started dating, so he just never ended up asking cause ward or not, Jason was still part of the family, regardless of wether or not it was through his love for Dick, and that was enough for Bruce. and in this Au jason is F-M Transgender.

Jason let out a groan of pain as his vision started to go black. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His turtleneck sweatshirt felt too small, his leather jacket too restricting, the holsters on his thighs too tight, the binder underneath everything else feeling as though it was cutting off his flow of air. He could hardly move as it was, so, though he knew it was a bad decision, he opted to lay there on the abandoned rooftop, bleeding. He couldn’t bring himself to move. So, as though it seemed a logical decision, he didn’t. It didn’t take long for him to pass out, given how small and, despite his strength and training, how scrawny he was. Now was a time he wished more than ever that he’d been born the gender he chose to present as. Being transgender wasn’t as easy as it seemed, and when it came to moments like these, Jason wished he didnt have to be trans to be the gender he presented as. Jason let out a soft shiver before everything went completely black and he could no longer keep himself conscious, hearing nothing but the heavily falling rain, soaking him to the bone, and pattering footsteps accompanied by a muffled voice he was too tired to try and recognize, or decipher what was being said.

Nightwing watched as the small, but ever fierce Red Hood scampered and limped onto a rooftop, collapsing, the young anti-heroes leather jacket stained red. The second he saw the crimson red on the jacket that was haphazardly placed in an unnatural way, the black and blue vigilante knew what it was. Blood. And a lot of it. But the Red Hood was more than just another gotham criminal to Nightwing. And Nightwingw wasn’t about to just leave him there bleeding out in the cold and rain. He wasn't about to lose him twice, even if he hadn’t quite gotten him back yet. But now was a chance to do that. So Nightwing expertly made his way over to the rooftop the anti-hero had been bleeding out on. As soon as he reached the young man he was checking for a pulse, letting out a sigh of relief when he felt the dangerously slow, but beating pulse on the others wrist. Before he moved the younger though, Nightwing needed to find the source of the bleeding and see how bad the damage was. So he carefully rolled the other over, wincing when he saw the sticky red staining the tan leather jacket and the sweatshirt he was wearing underneath. He bit his lip when he saw the deep stab wound and slashes in his side. 

”ooh, what did you get yourself into this time, lil wing…” Nightwing muttered under his breath. He carefully picked the younger up, and instantly knew where he needed to be. So he headed in the direction of Wayne manor. 

Jason groaned as blinding light stung his eyes, squeezing them shut. He waited a few minutes before trying to open them again. Once he managed to accomplish that, he tried to push himself up to get a better look at where he was, but was met with white hot pain shooting up his side. He clenched his teeth, clutching his side. Once the pain started to die down, he finally managed to sit up, half-assedly adjust the pillows behind him for better support, and leaned back against them, looking around the room. The room… oh no. he couldn't be here. How was he here? How did he get here? He blacked out on a rooftop, right? So how was he in the batcave infirmary? He had to get out of here before Bruce found him. Unless Bruce brought him here? But that doesn’t make sense. Why would Bruce do that? Especially after their last encounter? He tried to force Bruce to make an impossible choice. Kill the joker or kill jason to stop him from killing the joker. Though Jason’s learnt in these past few years that the impossible is really more so just the unthinkable lying in wait. But it still doesn’t explain why Bruce would’ve brought him to the cave. Unless… it wasn’t Bruce? No. Jason couldn’t handle that. Jason didn't want him to see himself in this way. It couldn’t have been… 

”hey… good to see you’re awake. You’ve been out for a while….” a soft, all too familiar voice spoke up from the doorway, making Jason snap his head up. Jason barely managed to squeak out a small ‘hey’ before looking down, wringing his hands in his lap. Unable to look the man in the eye. He didn’t want Dick to see him like this, and know who he was for the first time since he’d died. Jason couldn’t break his heart with the fact that he’s not the same person Dick knew before. The same person Dick fell in love with. He couldn’t do that to him. Dick didn’t deserve that. Both sat in awkward silence for sometime. Jason managed to snap a glance up at Dick, taking in his appearance, Dick seeming to do the same to Jason, given the way the older’s gaze was set upon the smaller ebony. Dick was wearing a black t-shirt and blue straight jeans, with simple black sneakers. Jason was in nothing but his binder, thankfully untouched by blood, and the cargo pants he wore with his uniform, though his weapons and holsters had been removed. The lack of a T-shirt gave Dick the opportunity to take in how much Jason had changed since he died. All the new scars the younger had gained. And see old scars from past wounds for the first time in years. And see scars from the wounds joker had inflicted. Jason still had thick, noticeable scars circling around his wrists from the barbed wire the Joker had used to tie his hands behind his back the day Jaosn died. Dick would be lying if he said he hadn’t recognized a few of the younger birds' scars. Dick probably would’ve recognized a few of the scars on Jason’s back too, if he took at glance at it. Dick sighed softly, breaking the awkward tension and silence, slowly walking over to Jason’s hospital bed. He walked up and sat near the end of the bed. Dick swallowed thickly. Why was he so nervous? Only four to five years ago he’d loved this man more than words could explain, so why was it so hard to talk to him? Dick swallowed again, followed by a soft exhale. 

”its uh…. Been a while… huh..” Dick said. The second he opened his mouth he internally facepalmed. Way to go, Dick. Who starts a conversation like that with someone who’s legally dead and you haven;t seen for basically five years? Apparently an idiot named Richard Grayson. When Jason didn’t respond Dick was sure he’d messed up. Great. 

”sorry, that was dumb, i-” Dick began. 

”it’s ok, don’t worry about it.” Jason said with a weak smile, raising a small, sculpted hand to silence the older. Jason slowly replaced his smile with a conflicted look, as he wrapped his arms around himself, fiddling with the shoulder strap of his binder, leaning back against the pillows. Dick carefully placed his hand above Jason’s abdomen, rubbing his thumb back and forth slowly, in an attempt to comfort Jason, who was clearly anxious and still a little out of it. 

”what.. Happened to you, Jason…?” Dick asked slowly. Jason just stared at the hand on his waist. He didn't seem to have heard Dick. 

”Jase?” Dick said, slightly startling the younger bat. 

”hey, what's wrong?” Dick said softly, moving his hand to brush a couple hairs out of Jason’s face, tucking them behind his ear. Jason made a soft, pained expression. 

”...why…” Jason asked emptily. He let his hands fall loosely into his lap. 

”why what?” 

”why did you bring me here? Why did you help me? I don't understand… i've done nothing but hurt people. Hurt you.. A-and Bruce, and everyone… a-and still your kind to me? I-i just don’t get it… why?” Jason blubbered out, finally looking dick in the eyes, his own glossy and prickling. Dick let out one last soft sigh, and carted his fingers through the white streaks in Jason’s hair. 

”because you’re still you Jase, regardless of what you’ve done. You’ve changed, i’ll admit that. But you’re still the you I fell in love with.” Dick said. Jason made an expression that shattered Dick’s heart right then and there. 

”you shouldn’t have helped me. I-i appreciate it, i do, really, but i don't deserve it, after all i've done, I…” Jason trailed off, staring emptily at his hands. 

”I've caused so much damage a-and pain… a-and i've hurt s-so many people.. Dick i.. I hurt you...i don’t deserve this kindness…” 

Dick felt the shards of his heart turn to vapor as Jason went on. 

”hey. Can you look at me, please?” Dick asked softly. And he felt Jason’s eyes meet his own. He raised his hand and carefully took Jason’s chin, guiding him to face the older. 

”you’ve changed. I get that. But you’re still you. I know you’d take everything back if you could. It’s ok. I forgive you, ok? I may not know you anymore as well as I used to, but if you’re still anything like the you I used to know, then I still know you. I can’t justify your actions, but I can forgive you. I missed you. And it’s good to have you back.” Dick said, cupping Jason’s cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth slowly. 

”why… Why do you forgive me? I-i… i don't deserve to be forgiven, Dick…” Jason questioned, as a tear finally fell from his viciously vibrant green eyes. 

”i forgive you because you’re you, Jason. And I love you. When I met you all those years ago, and then you met Bruce when trying to steal the tires of the batmobile. When you moved into the manor with Bruce and i.. When we finally started dating when we were 14 and 16. Those are milestones in my life that I wouldn't remove if I had the choice. Day doesn’t go by where I don't think about one of those moments and smile. I forgive you because, truth be told i'm not willing to give up on you. On us. When i lost you i lost a part of myself. And now I have you back. When I found out you were alive… Jason, I can't let you go. So please don't walk away from me…” Dick pleaded. 

”Dick, i love you, but you know i can’t stay… Bruce and i...we…” Jason stumbled for words. 

”so let me deal with Bruce. We can still make this work. I can help you. You can't do this on your own, Jason it isn’t working out for you, clearly.” Dick stated, gesturing to Jason’s side. Jason wrapped his arms around his small frame again, leaning into Dick’s palm. 

”..Dick….” 

Dick moved his free hand and took Jason’s hand in his own. Jason kept his other hand latched onto his forearm. 

”listen, I don't care what you’ve done, or who you’ve become. Because you’re you, and I love you for who you are on the inside, not the man you’ve turned yourself into as Red Hood. we can change that. Fix it, together. Let me help you. Jase you don’t have to be the bad guy.” Dick said. It was Jason’s turn to sigh now. 

”Jason, i’m willing to give you a second chance. To give us a second chance. Are you willing to take it?” Dick asked, looking Jason in the eye. Jason smiled weakly, nodding into Dick’s palm. 

”i want to give us another try too…” Jason said, absentmindedly leaning closer toward the older ebony. Dick leaned in as well, barely able to hold back a soft smile. Entangling his fingers in the younger's hair, Dick leaned in just the slightest bit more and closed the gap between their lips. The kiss was soft and delicate, Dick almost being afraid of shattering the younger if the kiss was too hard, but it was passionate and filled with love nonetheless. The two parted for air, and Jason shifted over, allowing Dick the space to sit directly beside him. Once Dick had reseated himself next to the younger, Jason instantly snuggled up to him out of pure habit. Dick wrapped his arm carefully around Jason’s waist. Then the realization of how small and potentially fragile Jason actually was hit him like a train as he felt the bandages against his arm. And he focused on how small and scrawny Jason felt pressed up against him. As he felt the bandages on Jason’s waist rub up against his arm, he was vividly reminded of the damage done to the younger’s side. And how much blood there had been on his clothes. God there was so much blood, and the wound was so deep, and dick still didn’t know what had happened. 

“So…” Dick started. 

”so?” Jason questioned. 

”so, what happened to you?” Dick asked. 

”that… is a long story…” Jason said. 

”i'm all ears, Jase.”

**Author's Note:**

> heyo! Thank's for reading! hope you enjoyed the story! feel free to follow my Instagram, @shooting.broken.arrows for more stories and such by me and updates on stories!


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